C1arke의 항목

아시아의 딸
생리적 공포
내 주머니에 구멍이 (J)

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일련번호: SCP-XXXX

등급: 안전(Safe)/유클리드(Euclid)/케테르(Keter)

특수 격리 절차: [격리 방법을 설명하는 단락입니다.]

설명: 21세의 황인종 여성.

부록: [선택적으로 추가사항을 넣는 곳입니다.]

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Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: A large metal cube with various green pictographs engraved onto its surface. Attempts at ingestion were unsuccessful, as the object was too large to be swallowed and too hard to be chewed properly. However, after several minutes, rust began to form on the surface of the cube. Licking the rust caused it to flake off of the cube. D-class subject reported a foul, metallic taste. Following consumption of all the rust on the cube, the subject reported feeling fully sated and did not require sustenance for the next 24 hours. Additionally, the pictographs on the cube's surface glowed brightly for several seconds following consumption before returning to their normal state.
Note: Despite being held in storage for several months with full exposure to the oxygen in the air, the cube has shown no further signs of rusting. The pictographs have also faded and been replaced by a large, red "X".

Money entered: 5000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Lafferty" yellow soda can with an image depicting an adolescent male pointing directly at the viewer, a large tea cup in hand. Initial effect included D-class bursting out in uncontrollable laughter. Approximately 20 minutes and 17 seconds later, laughing had completely ceased. Further examination had revealed subject to have lost 0.7 kg in body fat. Subject also reported to have a warm, soft, lemon taste in their mouth.
Note: Nutrition label on the side of the can had total calories at -5620.

Money entered: 700 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A blue and gold cardboard box. Package opened remotely. On the inside sat a blue pencil sharpener and colorful pencils with varying smells. Sharpening the pencils would open a pocket in the back of the sharpener, dispensing a random sliced fruit. Remaining number of pencils is fourteen (14).

Money entered: 600 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Rubik's Candy Cube" An unsolved functional hard-candy Rubik's Cube. When the item was solved it came apart to reveal a rainbow-colored candy that, when eaten, caused the pieces of the cube to come together again in a random pattern. Solving the puzzle again revealed another candy.

Money entered: 150 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description:
"Dr. Wondertainment's Amazing Bubble gum!"
A small pink bubble gum ball enclosed in a plastic wrapper with a warning not to swallow the gum. Seemingly unremarkable until D-14376 started to blow a bubble that reached roughly 170 centimeters in diameter before popping with a force equal to a large firework explosion. Strangely all personnel in the room suffered hearing loss and concussions except D-14376. The room smelled of sulphur and sugar for several days afterwards.

Money entered: 1,000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Polyglot in a Can: Modern Languages" Written in Japanese. No list of ingredients shown. Upon consumption subject showed fluency in Spanish, French and German. Effects wore off after an hour.

Money entered: 1,000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Polyglot in a Can: Ancient Languages" Written in Japanese. No list of ingredients shown. Upon consumption subject showed fluency in Greek, Latin and ancient Sumerian. Effects wore off after an hour.

Money entered: 100 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Coca-Cola" Resembled an ordinary can of Coca-Cola. Tasted like regular Coca-Cola. Can was revealed to be edible. Tasted like vanilla.

Money entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A box of "UnSweethearts Candies", label in Russian. Package contains no text, other than the label, a bar code, and a label indicating manufacture in Lyon, France. Contained 25 teardrop-shaped candies, each printed with a phrase thematically relating to the dissolution of a romantic relationship (e.g. "I drink to forget you"; "You are the reason for my restraining order"; etc.)
Testing revealed each candy contained 1 milligram of Cyanide.

Money entered: 250 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: An unlabeled package filled with gummy bears. Analysis found they were completely normal (if anything they contained slightly less sugar then the average bag usually does). Subject D-4221 reported they were delicious and refused to give them back. It was decided he could keep them. Testing concluded for the day.

Note: Before the following experiments, SCP-███ briefly broke containment. While it was quickly recontained, it was not before the site's power supply was damaged and had to be shut down for repairs. It was decided to test SCP-261 with the back-up generator running to see if any notable differences were apparent. Labeled as "Partially Powered" for the sake of consistency.

Money entered: 250 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Partially Powered
Item description: A 2-liter container filled with what was suspected to be milk. Had the "Bad Value" logo on it, a possible parody of "█████ █████" which is owned by ███-████. D-4242 decided to try it. Said it "tastes like what would result if you mixed goat milk and cow milk". Interestingly, the expiration date read "2/14/3127"
Note: "It honestly isn't that bad. I dunno what you guys are freakin' out about." - D-4242 (Dr. Walter insisted this be written down)

Money entered: One 500-yen coin with a hole drilled into it, with thick yarn tied through the hole; small amount of duct tape added over hole to ensure coin would not be lost. After inserting, string was pulled and coin was successfully retrieved. Dr. Yatts, whom was present the last time this was attempted, seemed very nervous as it was withdrawn.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Partially Powered
Item description: The machine hesitated for for roughly 5 seconds, then dropped a grenade. The grenade detonated approximately 2 seconds after hitting the ground, while those present scattered. However, instead of an explosion, confetti accompanied by a noise maker sound was what resulted. All in the room at the time of the "explosion" reported a strong taste of peppermint shortly after.
Note: "I'm not gonna lie; I [EXPLETIVE] myself. I'm not coming in this room anymore if we're playing coin tricks with this thing!" - Dr. Yatts

Money entered: 1000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Partially Powered
Item description: A 12 oz aluminum soda can, red in color. No labels present. D-4242 opened it, and proceeded to drink some of it. Reported: "Bleeeeh… it tastes like… dead caterpillars!"

Money entered: 200 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Partially Powered
Item description: 200 chocolate coins. Oddly had a slightly squarish shape to them. Nothing reported abnormal about them.

Note At this point testing was concluded for the day. Power station was back up and running at 23:22 the same night.

Money entered: 5000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A purple bag, with green label in English: "Sleep is the Best Medicine! You've heard of it before, now try it for yourself!" Bag contained 30 white pills. Single pill consumed by D-3512. Subject immediately collapsed, apparently comatose for 48 hours. After awakening, reported: "I've seriously never felt better in my whole life. Like, my headache's gone and everything!"

Note D-3512 has had a history of persistent migraines.

Money entered: 445 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Lord Wentsworth's monocle of excellence - a gold rimmed monocle inside a foil wrapper, given to D-8845 to wear. While wearing the monocle the subject claimed a cup of tea on a saucer had appeared on the ground approximately two (2) meters away. The subject walked towards to apparently non-existent cup of tea, bent over, and drank it, claiming that it tasted like a normal cup of sweetened Earl Grey tea with cream. After consumption, the monocle began to tarnish and rapidly degraded, leaving only the lens. The foil wrapper had the silhouette of a man in a top hat and monocle drinking a cup of steaming tea while holding the saucer with the other hand.

Money entered: Half of a 500 Yen coin
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: The machine shook violently for approximately three (3) minutes before dispensing a small blue orb. The orb was given to D-8845 to inspect and attempt to eat, when D-8845 attempted to bite into it, the orb started to flow and became gelatinous in nature. D-8845 was provided with a straw and instructed to drink. Upon insertion of the straw the blue liquid flowed through the straw and violently forced itself down D-8845's throat, and presumably into his stomach. D-8845 reported a strong flavor of "Blueberries described by someone who had forgotten what they taste like." D-8845 reported no further ill effects and is currently under study. Further tests with partial currency are underway.

Money entered: Two (2) halves of (different) 500 Yen coins
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Machine shook violently for approximately one (1) minute before dispensing a large foil package with art depicting a rolling pastoral countryside with a flaming human shaped figure in the background, as if far away. Welsh writing on the package was loosely translated (the writing did not quite seem to correspond exactly to modern Welsh) to say: "They will make a little one, this will offering to them to you!" and then in larger text "Thatch man village!" The package was opened revealing a primitive hillside village full of small figurines of people. Instructions on the back of the package were followed, and the village was misted with water. After approximately five (5) minutes, the village became "real" down to the grass, and the people went about with their business. After approximately three (3) hours a large group of villagers started to congregate in a single area and build a wicker man out of a large amount of wood they produced from their homes, the source of this wood is unknown as the amount of wood that came out of the homes had a total volume greater than that of the homes. Upon completion of the wicker man, the people set it on fire. All nearby personnel who inhaled the smoke reported feeling well fed. Shortly after the wicker man burned completely, the village crumbled into dust.

Money entered: 750 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: OmNomNomoPoeia - A rectangular box with a stylized image of a cow claiming "The Moost Delicious Thing on Earth!" Inside the bag contained several button-shape white chocolates. When fed to a subject, the subject was observed making actual animal noises when saying the words "oink", "moo", et cetera. It is believed that this effect is permanent. Further examination of the subject revealed that her vocal cords expanded and contracted involuntarily whenever the subject made an animal noise.

Money entered: 47 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: One fine bone china tea cup containing tea, Earl Grey, hot which can only be referred to as such. Any conscious attempts at referring to it in a manner other than "tea, Earl Grey, hot" fail. Item appeared in the retrieval area of the machine by appearing to "fading in". Described as tasting like an attempt at making tea, Earl Grey, hot by someone who had only heard of it but never tasted it.

Name: Junior Assistant Researcher Meerschaum
Date: ██/██/20██

Money entered: 250 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Blueberry yoo-hoo - Upon opening the can, it yelled “Yoo-hoo!” in a high-pitched voice. D-3489 ingested beverage without incident, but experienced an increased rate of flatulence for three hours after consuming drink; each flatus repeating the phrase “Yoo-hoo!”

Money entered: 250 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Darling Clementine - A single piece of citrus fruit in a plastic wrapper. Nutrition label listed the only ingredient as “tangerine”. After consumption, D-3489 insisted the fruit was actually a satsuma.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: <Unknown> - A wax-paper bag with a picture of an anthropomorphic cartoon pig wearing a toga and laurels on it. Contained three strips of bacon. D-3489 described bacon as “Ough-tay and-ay oo-tay alty-say.” D-3489 continued speaking in this manner for 45 minutes after consumption without noticing.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Russian Nesting Twinkie - Package contained a single Hostess brand Twinkie. Illustration on the package depicted a hand squeezing a Twinkie. D-3489 ordered to squeeze the Twinkie. Upon squeezing, the Twinkie ejected an identical Twinkie. The second Twinkie ejected a third in the same manner. A total of five Twinkies were produced before they stopped multiplying.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Rock Candy Geode - A plastic wrapped sphere of rock candy roughly the size of a softball. Other than the product name, the wrapper had no writing on it, only a picture of a hand smashing the ball against a tabletop. D-3489 was ordered to smash ball as indicated, which caused the ball to crack into two near-perfect halves. The ball was partially hollow and contained 4 different colored layers of rock candy.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: <Unknown> - A small cardboard box containing 60 matches of various colors. The box was blank, other than a tiny sentence handwritten on the bottom declaring “The whole world is matchless!” When struck on the side of the box, the matches ignited, producing flames the same colors as the matchsticks themselves, which rapidly solidified into fruit-flavored suckers.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Charcoal Chuckles - A standard package of Chuckles jelly candy, the only difference being that all five were black and tasted heavily of licorice. After consuming one, D-3489 proceeded to belch black flames which, while burning at roughly 1,100 C, did not hurt him or damage his surroundings in any way.

Money entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Dreampuffs - A plastic package containing two cream puffs with a cartoon depicting a boy fast asleep with a smile on his face. D-3489 consumed one. He immediately began acting lethargic and fell asleep 3 minutes after consumption. He awoke 50 minutes later stating he had had a dream he was attending a feast, and that he felt completely full now. Remaining pastry removed for analysis.

Money entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: The Philosopher's Scone - A cellophane-wrapped scone with a sticker reading “The Philosopher’s Scone: Good for 30 more Minutes!” Consumed by D-3489 without incident; described as flavorless and unfulfilling.
Edit: Four days after testing SCP-261, D-3489 was violently eviscerated during testing with SCP-███. His remains stayed alive for thirty minutes after what should have been a fatal injury, and he was able to provide valuable information related to SCP-███.

Money entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Fine Klein Wine - A glass Klein bottle that appears empty when not in use. When brought to a person’s lips to drink, the bottle begins spontaneously generating Pinot Noir. A finite amount is produced, though very little is needed, due to its second property. Wine entering the mouth does not proceed down the esophagus as usual, but instead arcs up and out the nostrils, re-enters the bottle, and loops back around through the secondary opening, forming an infinite loop of wine. Since the wine never enters the throat, it is possible to breathe while drinking. D-3489 described process as “Uncomfortable-ay, ut-bay ot-nay as-ay ad-bay as-ay ou’d-yay ink-thay.”

Money entered: 5000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Gummi Wormhole - An inflated black balloon with no discernable point of inflation. Balloon was covered with cartoons depicting smiling worms traveling through portals in space. When popped, the balloon collapsed in on itself, opening a circular portal roughly 50 cm in diameter from which appeared a gummi worm approximately 150 cm long and 30 cm thick. Worm was sentient and extremely hostile, and had to be dispatched by security. Remains were non-anomalous, but revealed an intricate network of organs composed entirely of candy.

Money entered: 10000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: <Unknown> - Cubical stainless steel box, 10 cm on each side, with a keyhole on one side and a key attached to the box via a chain. The top of the box had picture of a bull’s head on it. Testing was moved to an isolated chamber. When the key was turned and the box opened, a 9 cm chocolate minotaur walked out and then rapidly grew to over 9 meters in height before declaring “I am the minotaur!” Minotaur proceeded to bludgeon D-3489 into unconsciousness. Security fired on it, with the bullets deflecting harmlessly off its body. It collapsed, however, after one of the guards made a small cut on its arm. Remains were non-anomalous, weighed 754 kg and were composed entirely of milk chocolate.

Money Entered: 700 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Retroactibites" — Brightly colored foil bag containing 12 jawbreakers in the shape of clocks. Appeared to vanish upon contact with subject's tongue. Subject's memory of the past six hours was altered to consist of his receiving the candy and sucking on it. No changes to researchers' memory or security footage are apparent, but subject exhibits physiological changes consistent with their changed memory, including mild dehydration, stiff joints from standing in place, and degradation of tooth enamel from constant sucking. Flavor is described as "compelling."

Money Entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "MAGIC POTION" - A drink in soda packaging with a mascot that consists of a elephant with stereotypic wizard clothing. When poured into a cup, liquid consisted of "blackness with white and blue dots in it." When consumed subject reported he started to feel "different" and started convulsing. Subject fainted, then 2 minutes later woke up. Subject acted much like different animals every 20 minutes. After 4 hours, subject fainted and woke up again after 2 minutes. Subject was asked about his experience but all the subject would talk about was how "he didn't like animals much anymore" Subject now has claimed a strange fear of animals.

Money Entered: 200 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A fluorescent green soft-plastic squeeze bottle labeled "CONSUME" longitudinally in fluorescent purple English block type. A thumbs up icon was present along with the word "YUM!" printed near the base, perpendicular to the primary labeling. A hexagonal code pattern was printed opposite the main label but does not correspond to any known product identification. The tube contained 100 grams of white paste, which under analysis was determined to be a complete meal replacement containing 2.5 MJ of food energy and 1/3 of all major human nutritional requirements as well as 0.5 mg of alprazolam and 25 mg of erythromycin. Subject reported it tasted mildly of vanilla.

Money Entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Gator-Aid" A bottle of flavored water, tested on D-555, D-555 drunk some and suddenly spat it out claiming "it tastes like someone died in it" Testing concluded that the bottle contained meat from a variety of animals and swamp water.

Money Entered: 100 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Pearcel Cookie" A pear-flavored cookie, green in coloration. Wrapped in plastic wrap with a pear-shaped sticker with an unknown symbol on it keeping the wrap together. Tests revealed that item contained standard ingredients of a pear and a cookie. Given to D-98547, tasted remarkably like a "pear and chocolate chip cookie, mixed together, and it was horrible"

Money Entered: 1,000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A Pearcel Cookie, much darker in coloration. D-32492 requested that it be put in a cookie jar. Researcher Andrews took the cookie out of the jar, when D-32492 immediately asked "Who took the 43,046,721 Pearcel Cookies out of the cookie jar?" This Pearcel Cookie was investigated, and found to contain the standard ingredients of 43,046,721 Pearcel Cookies.
Edit: Researcher Johnson accidentally dropped the cookie, and it separated into 9 parts, slightly lighter in coloration, and of the same size of the Pearcel Cookie.

Money Entered: One half of a 50 yen coin glued to the other half. One half upside down.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Conceptual Cookie", wrapped in a plastic box with no openings. The box had a metal slot and a button on it. Those were not present, but all observers "knew" of their existence. The subject "thought of" pressing the button and a cookie was ejected. The subject held a cookie; however, nobody could clearly pinpoint its location: video recordings showed cookies, slots and buttons. The security cameras showing cookies being eaten at different times. After using SCP-261 again, the recordings of the test were altered to show one cookie. Some researchers reported that there was always one cookie, some reported that they "knew" of the cookie but it wasn't there. It is theorized that the cookie was supposed to only exist "conceptually"; however, the coin caused the cookie to be half-physical, being kept physical by 261, 261 "stopping" when used again. The subject reported that the cookie was "half-chocolate" and stated that he "just knew".

Money Entered: One half of a 50 yen coin glued to the other half. One half upside down.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: Same result as above. After ejecting the cookie, a bright flash was produced, a normal cookie in a unmarked blue box was left. The box had a plastic window and an opening on the top. The cookie was a non-anomalous chocolate cookie.

Doctor King
Money Entered: 100,000 yen.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: 100,000 Apple seeds. They are apparently tasty. Further research shows that they have ██ grams of █████.

Name: Researcher Hart
Date: ██/10/2016

Money Entered: 500 yen.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Otaku Edition Pocky" The labels are in broken romanized Japanese, which Researcher Hart described as "Like the kind that gets thrown around on the internet." The snack itself was pretzel sticks dipped in icing and sprinkles. Ezaki Glico does not produce this edition of Pocky.

Money Entered: 200 yen.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Gummy Gladiators" A plastic tube with an opaque divider in the middle, attached to a paper tab sticking out of the tube. Inside the tube were two humanoid gummy figures styled like Roman gladiators moving about, with one on each side of the divider. The instructions and labels were in Latin. Following the translated instructions, the tab was pulled, removing the divider. Upon its removal, the figures took notice of each other, and immediately attacked each other. After approximately three (3) minutes, one figure apparently terminated the other, before lying down and seemingly going to sleep. Following the next instructions, the tube was pulled at from both ends until it popped open. The gummy figurines were reported to taste like cherry juice.

Money Entered: 300 yen.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Chicken Candy Can" A cylindrical metal with a cartoon chick on the packaging. Labels in medieval English. Inside the can were several marzipan feathers or assorted colors, some gummy 'meat' and bones, and one egg with a fruit-flavored shell. When opened, it was revealed to be filled with melted white chocolate, with a caramel 'yolk' and a gummy chick.

Money Entered: 186 yen.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A glowing glass sphere upon a metallic stand. The labels are strange, multicolored spiral glyphs which currently remain undeciphered. People illuminated by the sphere's light reported "delightful" taste, although they refuse to describe more, along with a moderately increased sex drive. Examinations of the sphere showed no anomalies in the device's emissions.
Note: Above entry no longer correct. Object had to be locked up after displaying an anomalous, steady increase in radioactivity. Disassembly and analysis reveal presence of numerous nuclides which are supposed to be extremely unstable, along with minor shiftings in physical constants in a ██ meter radius. Dr. █████████, a fan of old science fiction, advised to "get rid of such things as thoroughly as possible, unless you want to blow up half the galaxy".

Money entered: 25 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Small red and orange cardboard box with “Insta-Mash” written across the front. Below in smaller letters was printed "(single serving)". On the left side of the box was a bright blue plastic bowl apparently containing mashed potatoes, the opposite side listed the ingredients (potatoes, powdered cream, instant butter) and food information label (most notable was a saturated fat content equal to 188% of the Recommended Daily Intake for a healthy adult; however, on the box this was shown as only 10% of the “Healthy Intake Quotient”).

Printed in random places along the outside of the box were images of potatoes, with a pile on the back apparently about to be made into mashed potatoes by a trio of egg beaters attached via articulated arms to a high-tech electric mixer of unknown make. Below this image was printed “For that Dig-In Flavor!” and in much smaller writing along the border was written “Copyright 2077”.

Upon opening the box a small blue bowl similar to the one printed on the side of the box was found along with a plastic spoon and a wax-paper packet containing white powder with streaks of yellow. Stenciled on the packet were the words “DIRECTIONS: ADD TO ONE CUP OF BOILING WATER.”

The packet was prepared following the directions and the result was from all outside appearances a bowl of mashed potatoes with melted butter. A test subject was directed to consume it and found it to be delicious, calling it “the best spuds I ever had”. Monitoring of the subject found his cholesterol levels spiked by 300% for one week after consuming the item, but returned to normal afterwards.

Money entered: 25 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A cardboard box nearly identical to the one produced by the previous experiment (see above), however it appeared much more battered with pieces of the outside layer of paper missing. On the back was written “20 caps” in sloppy handwriting with some sort of black marker or grease pencil. Upon opening the box the same bowl and packet were found fully intact; however, the plastic spoon appeared to be slightly melted as if exposed to some sort of extreme heat.

The item was prepared using the same method as before and a similar positive reaction was seen in the test subject; however, one hour after consumption the subject began vomiting uncontrollably. After a thorough physical examination it was found that the subject was suffering from severe radiation poisoning. The remnants of the item, along with the bowl, spoon, and packaging, were found to be highly radioactive, and showed traces of radioactive fallout.

Money entered: 10,000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A small, glass beaker with no markings, only labeled with a worn piece of paper taped onto it, with "Dark eye" written on it in English, sealed by a cork.
Item contained about 200 milliliters of a pure black liquid with the viscosity of cooking oil; testing showed that it was composed entirely of trapped light particles.
When D-4924 was instructed to drink it, she smelled it first and described that it had no smell, then drank it, describing the taste as licorice flavored.
There were no immediate effects, although D-4924 claimed that she had slight irritation in her left eye one hour after consumption, the next day, after she woke up, she reported that she had no sensation in her left eye, it was found that her left eye now resembled a black void with a glowing white spot where her pupil should be and had no iris.
Testing found that she saw 8x better in the dark than a normal person through her left eye.

Money entered: 2,000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A Locket Necklace in the shape of a large red heart, seeming to have no anomalous properties. The chain holding the locket, appearing to be made of steel, was found to be made of White Chocolate and the locket itself was found to be made of Dark Chocolate consisting of 30% cocoa.
D-10416 was first instructed to wear the Necklace, which did not reveal anything out of the ordinary. D-10416 was then instructed to consume it. After complete consumption, D-10416 unexpectedly requested more chocolate. Since then, D-10416 has made a habit of requesting at least one chocolate bar a day. Later testing revealed that her mental age was reduced to that of a 10-year-old.

Money entered: 650 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A can made of pure sliver, with a gold ribbon along both ends. Can has a label written in an unknown language, with the number 650, approximately 5 inches in height and 10 centimeters in diameter. A high-pitched buzzing noise can be heard within. Can was taken to quarantine facility. D-class personnel was instructed to open. Contents revealed to be a small, round creature, four eyes, all black in color and red scales. Creature grew to twice its size before attacking personnel. Creature died shortly after being exposed to D-class personnel's blood. Further inspection revealed a glowing green powder of a chemical similar to ████████. DNA testing revealed creature to be of an unknown species. D-class personnel was held for medical testing [DATA EXPUNGED]

Money entered: 1,000 yen with "Something for Cassy" written in kanji on it.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A 3" x 5" drawing of a picnic basket, a checkered ground cloth, and a hand cranked ice cream maker. Request to introduce the drawing to SCP-085 pending O5 approval.

Money entered: 25,000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Large, unmarked plastic bag containing 10 large jawbreaker-like candies shaped like white hearts. Chemical analysis found large amounts of ████████ as well as various unidentified chemicals along with the usual ingredients found in jawbreakers. Complete consumption of a candy yielded no taste nor immediate effects.
Complete consumption of a candy results in one or more of the consumer's body parts being altered to resemble an animal's body part, scaled up or down to human proportions. Transformation has been noted as slow and rather painful in all cases, is completed after between 5 to 7 days, and is permanent. The following are the documented changes to the body parts of 5 D-class personnel after consuming one candy each:
D-15032: Both ears changed to resemble Red Fox ears.
D-29043: Both of his eyes gained a shark-like nictitating membrane.
D-9320: Additional teeth grew out and the rest of his teeth sharpened to resemble Grizzly Bear teeth.
D-13287: Nasal functions were altered to resemble the nasal workings of most domesticated canines.
D-20586: Arms were altered to resemble the front limbs of the Spider Monkey.
The remaining 5 candies have been taken in for further study.

Money entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A 40oz styrofoam sealed cup with a straw coming out of the top. The cup was plain white, apart from a cartoon picture of a cherry on one side, and full of a thick, light pink liquid. After D-113-A drank 4.5oz of the mixture, he reported that it tasted of cherries, and that the drink was too sickly-sweet to continue drinking. Later chemical analysis reported the drink to be made of [REDACTED] and chemical flavouring. Remaining sample incinerated.

Date of entry: ██/██/2016
Purpose: Evaluate text interpretation capabilities
Money entered: 300 yen, along with a note, printed in Japanese romaji, asking for "alternative testing subjects"
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: D-583619 tasked with retrieving an orange-colored package in the dispenser. D-583619 comes back along with D-914728, without the package.
"Now that I think about it… bright orange jumpsuits…" - Dr. ███████ ██████

Money Entered: 93 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Mighty Morphin Power Ranchers!" - a 2 oz bag containing several assorted hard candies made to resemble characters from the popular 90's show "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers", packaging in stylized Japanese. Subject reported candies "taste[d] exactly like Jolly Ranchers". Chemical analysis revealed that the candies' contents are indistinguishable from regular Jolly Ranchers. The Hershey Company holds no record of manufacturing this variant of the hard candy.
Researcher's Note: "Interesting. I wonder if… hey, how much more yen do we have?" -Dr. I████

Money Entered: 1,993 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Mighty Morphin Power Ranchers; Megazord Size!" - a 48 oz bag of the previously produced hard candy (see above). The phrase "One Dinozord in every pack! Collect them all and form the legendary Megazord!" is printed directly below the label. Contents were as expected, and included a small plastic replica of the "Sabertooth Dinozord". All contents were determined to be non-anomalous.
Researcher's Note: "Didn't entering '1999' yen produce a similarly date-specific item? What is it with this machine and the 90's?" -Dr. I████

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Sassparilla - A bottle of root beer. Its label is typical of modern reproductions of root beer-type soft drinks. No unusual taste reported. Upon consumption, subject became irritable and cocky, making snide remarks to researchers with little provocation. Subject terminated following an especially rude remark regarding Dr. █████'s mother. Afterwards, researchers became confused when asked the reason for their aggression towards the late subject. Object classified as a cognitohazard. Further tests pending.
"Son of a b████ had it coming. " -Dr. █████

Dr. Allok engaged in testing to determine if allowing SCP-261 time to “cool down” would help keep more dangerous or unpleasant foodstuffs from appearing. Testing followed a fifteen minute cycle, each test utilizing 500 yen. This cycle was repeated until anomalous items were produced, then testing was suspended for two hours before resuming. During testing suspension, SCP-261 remained unused by any other parties.

Dr. Allok's notes: It seems to overheat, let's be honest. Push it hard and long enough, and it's going to drop something dangerous. Plus, dumping too much money in it seems to confuse it, for lack of a better term. So we take it slow and steady.

NOTE: MUNDANE ITEMS OMITTED, FULL RECORD AVAILABLE ON CALL#0098-89-DDA

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “Dark Surprise Gum” - Small cellophane packet, Japanese kanji text, but with a significant amount of Japanese internet slang terms, produced by “Hello Okashi” Package depicts a ghostly, long-haired bleeding woman reaching out from a school locker. Opening the package revealed three smaller individually wrapped wafers, the approximate dimensions of a standard playing card. Unwrapping one of the packages revealed a thin wafer of black chewing gum, while the inside of the wrapper was covered with kanji, and a depiction of a feral dog with a distorted, human-like face. The text related a truncated and gruesome version of the “Jinmenken” or human-faced dog legend. The gum itself had a mild anise flavor, and was described as rather gritty and unpleasant by Dr. Allok, the consumer.

Approximately one hour after consuming the gum, Dr. Allok began to behave erratically. Over a space of ten minutes, he became increasingly agitated, stating that he saw movement from the corner of his eye, heard odd and unsettling sounds, and felt intensely observed. At the end of the ten minutes, Dr. Allok abruptly screamed, recoiled from an unseen force, and fell to the ground. After recovery, and a in-depth sweep by security, Dr. Allok stated that a warped, decayed human-faced dog had suddenly pushed open the test chamber door, howled or screamed, and then charged at him. No other members of staff or security observed this, and no sensors or security alarms had been tripped. After recovery, there was no additional effect.

It has been determined that the gum causes a timed hallucination related to the story on the wrapper. Approximately half of the gum wafer is required to trigger the effect, and judging by perforations along the center of the wafer, the gum is intended to be shared. How such a directed and structured hallucination is caused is still being reviewed, however it is not purely a chemical process, and there appear to be no lingering effects beyond mild paranoia, which varies by individual. Additional wafers relate stories of an unknown, obsessive stalker who committed suicide to better follow the reader, and a spirit of a horribly deformed baby seeking the reader to kill and eat. Both produce associated hallucinations.

Notes – I am not too proud to admit, I shat myself just a little. I tell you, I could smell that damned thing. Putting aside the direct applications, if we can figure out how it works, we could advance the whole body of amnestic research by twenty years.

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “CoCo Calavera”- A brightly colored cellophane pouch, with patterns associated with the “Día de Muerto” Day of the Dead celebration in Mexico, text in modern Spanish, no manufacturer information. The label provides a short description of the holiday, and the tradition of candy skulls made and consumed on that day. The package is secured by a simple twist-tie. Inside is a small, three-dimensional candy skull, decorated with red icing in traditional patterns. It differs from traditional candy skulls on several points. Only one color, red, is used for decoration. The skull itself is a very dark brown, and appears to have horns sweeping back along the skull, along with sharpened teeth.

The primary difference is, while traditional skulls are made primarily of sugar, this one appears to be made of pure crystallized cocoa. The structure is identical to that of granulated sugar, but there is no actual sugar present in the skull. The cocoa itself is not related to any recorded breeds of cocoa plants, and this may be the reason behind the hereto unobserved crystallization process. The skull itself is described as very bitter, with a sharp taste of chili peppers.

Notes – There's something bothering me about this one. Can't put my finger fully on it, just something off about a black and red horned skull, maybe. How it manages to look exactly like sugar is another question.

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “Russian Roulette Drops” - A 12cm long tube, dense plastic, text in Cyrillic, but with English spelling, produced by “Red Star”. Tube has two small pressure pads positioned to either side of one end, with a small, sealed hole on the same end, outer wrapping depicts a realistic gun barrel under the text. Description on the package indicates item is candy, and intended to be shared among “one's most brave or foolish friends”. Instructions are to bite down on the pressure pads, which will cause a candy to be dispensed into the mouth.

Assembled researchers, by mutual consent, began testing. Biting on the plates causes a small, white pellet to be dispensed into the mouth, tasting “like a sugar cube”. The outer shell dissolves within five seconds, releasing the inner filling. It appears eight pellets are contained in the tube, and it is constructed in such a way as to discourage casual tampering. Noted flavors include chocolate frosting, blueberry, and orange cola.

It appears that, with each tube, one pellet is designated the “kill shot”, as described on the package. This pellet dissolves to release a liquid filling that is 85% pure capsaicin, the remainder being a dense form of syrup which causes great difficulty in immediately neutralizing the substance. Dr. Henjik received the “kill shot”, and was remanded to medical for breathing issues and possible allergic reaction. Full recovery was declared after four hours, no additional anomalous properties noted.

Notes – Dr. Henjik is a great big baby.

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: “Cute Girl's Tears” - Glass soda bottle, blue tint to the glass, a beveled texture along the main body, text in English and Japanese, no identifiable manufacturer. Item's label depicts a young girl, drawn in the anime style, with blue hair and blue eyes. She appears to be in distress or discomfort, and is crying vigorously. Character matches no current or discontinued entertainment form, nor has the art style matched with any known artist. Item appears to be part of a set, with the label encouraging to try “Cute Boy's Tears” and “Sister's Tears”; however, no items matching this description have been noted.

Bottle has a standard twist-off metal cap, and appears to have been made in Japan for the US market. Liquid is mostly clear with a slightly blue tint. Liquid is uncarbonated and very sweet, also including a vague berry flavor (which could not be determined) and a slight taste of salt. Researchers described it as somewhat similar to a sports drink, and testing indicated a similar composition to several commercially available sports drinks, with a marked higher content of sugar and sodium. Texture is slightly syrupy, and will leave a sticky residue on surfaces.

No additional anomalous properties noted; however, it has been observed that those who reported the highest enjoyment of the item also scored the highest on the TSR-88 Cruelty Index during annual testing. Investigation in to possible relationship is ongoing.

Notes – I don't give a damn what they say I scored, that stuff was delicious and worth it for the bottle alone. Isn't there some kind of personalized soda service somewhere? I'm ordering this.

Addendum – request was denied.

Money Entered: 100 ████, (currency retrieved from ██████)
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A gaseous cloud that, when interacted with, attaches itself to the subject's hands as if being held. Upon inhaling, subject complained of chest pains and severe dyspnea, eventually resulting in death. Autopsy of subject was revealed to have several sheets of platinum arranged in an acute mathematical pattern, fatally intersecting with the subject's heart and lungs. A manufacturer's mark near the centre of the "heart" indicates that it was produced by ████████, with a laser-cut date of ██/██/████.

Money Entered: 600 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Cow Beans" Jelly beans in the bag were similar texture and color to SCP-843. Class D that consumed the jelly beans clutched his stomach in pain and passed out. After regaining consciousness, subject appeared normal; however, autopsy showed that the subject had grown three more stomachs.

Money Entered: 1500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Ice Cream Flashlight" Object was a flashlight in the shape of an ice cream cone. Testing shown that anything illuminated with the light would slowly convert to ice cream, with the flavor of ice cream depending on the material used.

Notes – I think the ice cream flashlight could be pretty useful. I mean, I know it's just sugar, but can't you live off ice cream in an emergency?

Money entered: 4500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: <Unknown> - a small box-shaped package, with no noticeable outer markings save for the words “Prototype 3” written in black pen on the side. When opened, it contained a small black box, of similar dimensions to a portable television. With the box also came a container, which held a hundred different disk storage system cards resembling Zip drives. Ninety of those disks came with a picture depicting either a random fruit or vegetable, while the remaining ten disks were white in color, and showed different graphics of chopping up food. Packaging also contained an charger designed to power up the box, although it was found to have been pre-charged prior to packaging. The box only contained two separate slots and two buttons — white and red in color — as well as what appeared to be a lens used in holographic technology.

When the D-Class assigned to testing pressed the red button, the lens flashed on and showed a blank display. When he inserted a card depicting an apple into the top slot, the image of an apple suddenly appeared on the display, although completely permeable by solid material. Although inserting other cards with fruits and vegetables into the top slot had no effect on the image coming from the lens, when the D-Class inserted a white card depicting a person using a knife in a slicing motion, the image changed to that of a bunch of apple slices in a bowl, with the display image having increased somewhat. However, the image was still untouchable.

When the D-Class pressed the white button, a side compartment opened and a tool resembling a spork popped out. Said tool consisted of an (as of yet) unknown vaporous gas structure, but was solid to the touch, albeit a bit cool. When the utensil met the displayed image, a separate holographic image of a sliced apple appeared on the end of it out of the main display, which Petard was able to bring to his mouth and eat. Though the utensil appeared to have taken a piece out of the holographic image from the box, upon him eating the “apple slice” the image reformed.

The D-Class said shortly afterwards that although he was unable to properly eat the “slice”, he was able to feel its texture and flavor in his mouth, and was also able to swallow it. After about ten minutes of repeatedly eating “apple slices”, the D-Class put down the utensil, stating that he was full. Testing will resume the following day.

Money entered: 1200 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Three-pack of "Portable Communion", packaging in Latin, place of manufacture listed as London, England. Dispensed item resembled a pre-packaged Communion wine with wafer sold by [REDACTED]. Package was unable to be opened, even with extreme amounts of force, outside of a place of worship (in this case, the Site's non-denominational chapel). The wafer was found to be made of plain cracker, and the 'wine' present was similar to grape Kool-Aid.

Money entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Astro-Dinner!", packaging in American English, Branded by NASA and allegedly manufactured at Cape Canaveral, Florida and NASA Glenn Research Center, Ohio. Contents resembled a TV Dinner tray with several dehydrated foods, including steak, peaches, chocolate pudding, and a packet of juice, along with a hot water gun to re-hydrate the foods. Edible, if not particularly appetizing; testing shows that the food is identical to food prepared for the Apollo missions.

Money Entered: 250 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A packet of baseball trading cards with gum; trading cards depict individuals playing on teams known from SCP-2206, as well as a Japanese team, the "Yokohama DeNa Joestars". Notably, mention is made on the card of player Francisco Lindor, a pitcher for the Cleveland Exiles, as being key in defeating the Chicago Orphans for the 2016 World Series title. Gum was cherry-flavored.
In what perverse universe does a team from Cleveland beat a Chicago team, let alone win a World Series?! — Dr. Mattings.

Money entered: 60 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Unknown - Aluminium bag with writing that seems to be an Japanese. The bag was full of rice tabloids that, when consumed, made the subject fluent in an unknown language called "Chingsans" for twelve to twenty-four hours. The taste was of rice and noodles.

Money entered: 420 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: SCP-420-J, exact copy, no changes.
yeah guys, we gotta find a way to un-randomize it, like so we can take things we have taken before… for… um… scientific purposes. - Researcher ██████

Money entered: 4000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: "Kellogg's Krunchy Krab" - Cardboard box with a picture of a crab on it. The crab is eating what seems to be smaller crabs. The package contained cereal. D-Class were sent to taste it. Their responses were that it tastes like crab. No anomalous effects reported. Kellogg's does not make this brand of cereal.

Money entered: 9001 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: unpowered
Item Descripton: Kaka Karrot Kakes - Cardboard box with a picture of a yellow carrot cake and a radioactive sign on it. It was tested for radiation, nothing found. D-6217 opened it to find carrot cakes and a sound was produced. It sounded close to the cartoon show "█████████████" The sound was a male human screaming "IT'S OVER 9000!!!" After that, everybody felt energized and full, so the carrot cakes were disposed of.
That's my favourite anime! - Researcher ██████

Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Milka-brand chocolate bar, 'Bean Paste' flavor - Outer coating is typical of Milka-brand milk chocolate. Filling consists primarily of red bean paste, mixed with food additives E121, E227, E422 and E425. Packaging is in German. The Mondelēz company does not produce this flavor, nor does any other major chocolate bar manufacturer produce a similar product.

Notes: This stuff's actually quite good. Maybe we can sell the recipe? - Jr. Asst. IJff

Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Fruit Luips - A box of cereal. Packaging similar to the popular 'froot loops' brand. Aside from the different name and the differences in the cereal itself, the box is watertight, and comes with a plastic spoon and a bottle of artificially-sweetened milk attached to its side. In a notable divergence from 'froot loops', 'fruit luips' cereal contains small bits of actual fruit. However, none of the 'rings' of which the cereal consists form complete loops.

Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Unknown - A small cloth bag containing twenty tangerine-like fruits. Bag had writing in an unknown alphabet, along with cartoon depictions of a monkey. Each of the fruits was much smaller than a typical store-carried tangerine, with none exceeding a diameter of three centimeters. Four fruits were consumed, revealing a much sweeter flavor than expected. In addition, the fruit's skin also proved to be edible, possessing a similar taste.
Addendum: Lab tests on the remaining three fruits show a genetic divergence from any citrus fruit in the database. In addition, a series of small puncture marks were found in the skin of each fruit. Consistent depth and placement of these marks suggests that these punctures were made mechanically.

Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Party stick: Red Flavor - Packaging consists of an asbestos box decorated with festive colours and pictures of balloons. Blurb underneath the logo reads 'Foodz of the Future'. Opening the box revealed a single stick of what appears to be dynamite.
Addendum: Chemical analysis has confirmed that the stick is, in fact, regular dynamite. The stick was successfully transported to a blast chamber, where it was lit. No anomalous effects occurred upon detonation, nor were any additional effects noted upon inspection of the chamber hereafter.

Notes: Maybe we're missing the proper senses? - Jr. Asst. IJff

Money entered: 400 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Unknown - Object dispensed by SCP-261 was identical in appearance to the head of SCP-106. Security guard ███ reflexively fired three (3) shots at the object, destroying it. Researcher ██████ suffered cardiogenic shock upon the appearance of the object, but is expected to make an eventual full recovery.
Addendum: Later chemical analysis demonstrates the presence of human skin, straw and cherry syrup in the remains of the object.

Money Entered: 300 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Originally powered; power failure occurred as item was being dispensed, due to maintenance personnel shorting a circuit.
Item Description: A "Kinder Matryoshka", large chocolate candy resembling a Kinder Surprise Egg, text in Cyrllic. When opened, another egg of similar size was inside, composed of grape-flavored rock candy. Within this egg was another made out of solid caramel; overall, more than sixty layers were observed before the center was reached, with composition varying from toffee to peanut butter to a substance chemical analysis identified as chocolate paste mixed with saffron.

Center layer was inedible, and instead contained a pink plastic case with a large sapphire within; testing showed the sapphire to be both artificial and inedible.

Money Entered: 300 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: In an attempt to replicate the conditions above, SCP-261 was powered, but powered off as the item was being dispensed.
Item Description: 1 bottle of "Royal Crown Cider", text in English. Alcoholic variant of Royal Crown Cola with apple flavoring; testing showed a taste similar to a very sweet, very strong apple cider. The Dr. Pepper-Snapple Group does not manufacture this product.

Money Entered: 300 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered, but powered on when item was being dispensed.
Item Description: A pair of live raccoons, one male and one female. Biopsy showed no abnormalities in physiology. Inspection of SCP-261 found a small pamphlet with text in Spanish instructing how to care for the raccoons, with no indication that they were meant to be eaten.

Money Entered: 300 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered, but powered on when item was being dispensed.
Item Description: Thirteen twigs from a yew tree, with a purple wrapper depicting fairies bundling them together, text in an unknown language. Pictographic instructions indicated that twigs should be ignited before consumption, and consumed while burning. Doing so resulted in the wood burning purple, giving off a smell similar to artificial grape flavoring. Attempting to eat resulted in second-degree burns to the mouth of D-Class personnel. Remaining samples in storage.

Note from research team: To control for possible sources of anomalous behavior, a single newly-minted 100-yen coin was used for each of the following tests.

Money entered: 100 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Utz "Crab Chip" - 2 oz (57 g) bag of Old Bay flavored potato chips. Contents not anomalous.

Money entered: 100 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Smarties - 1.5 oz (43 g) box of candy-coated milk chocolate, as produced by Nestle in various countries worldwide. Packaging is in American English and refers to being produced by "Nestle USA Inc." Due to a trademark dispute with Ce De Candy (makers of an unrelated "Smarties" candy product), Nestle has never made or sold Smarties in the United States. Contents not anomalous.

Money entered: 100 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: OK Soda - 12 fl oz (355 ml) can of a "citrus/spice" flavored soft drink formerly produced by Coca-Cola. Packaging is minimalist, with logo consisting solely of large letters "OK" with smaller text "things are going to be" above it, all in white Helvetica on a black background. Although Coca-Cola discontinued OK Soda due to poor sales in 1995, this can appears to have been produced in 2017. Contents not anomalous.
Not anomalous, but incredibly nasty. No wonder they stopped making this stuff. Bleah. - Researcher Van Nostrand

Money entered: 100 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Bamba - 50 g bag of peanut-flavored puffed corn snack, as produced by Osem Food Industries of Tel Aviv, Israel. Packaging is in Yiddish transliterated into Cyrillic characters and gives an address for Osem in the "Free City of Jaffa." A revenue stamp is affixed, containing Russian text "Import Duty - 5 Rubles - PAID" and a portrait of Tsar Nicholas IV. Upon inspection, bag only contained 44 grams of product. Contents not otherwise anomalous.

Money entered: 100 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Approximately 500 ml clear plastic bottle containing a bright blue liquid. Label was untranslated (possibly in Japanese) and had a drawing of a penguin-like creature (since identified as "██████", the mascot of ██████ ████ Software). Liquid was not carbonated and gave off odors of saltpeter and raw fish. Before taste testing could commence, a subject accidentally knocked the bottle off its counter. Bottle exploded upon contact with ground, causing minor injuries to subject.
I think we're done for today. - Researcher Zembrovski

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Madam Jesute's Blueberry Cigarettes- A slightly larger than average sized cigarette package decorated in blue trim and gold letters, the sub-labeling reads "Now lasts longer!". Inside, the package contained 21 blue tinged cigarettes and a small retractable Cigarette holder resembling ones popular during the early 20th century. When one was smoked (using the holder), the class-D personnel described a pleasant blueberry taste in addition to the tobacco. The Smoke emitted had a slight blue hue to it as well. Company labeled as the manufacturers on packaging is Yang-Marlboro (company is not known to exist).

Money entered: 300 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A 500ml plastic bottle without labeling containing a red liquid confirmed to be normal apple juice. The taste is described to be "Delicious, yet very spicy."

Money entered: 52 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A unpackaged slab of balsa wood, 14 cm by 5.7 cm by 6.3 mm. Unmarked, save for an inscribed image of an ant. Otherwise unremarkable.

Money entered: 73,266 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A small plastic bag filled with water. Water contained several hundred unusually large Antarctic Krill (Euphausia superba). Bag possessed a label, bearing 48 colored polygons arranged into a 6 by 8 rectangular pattern.

Money entered: 150 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: Unknown. Item that was dispensed carried a minor antimemetic effect that caused subjects to be unable to perceive it. Subjects under Grade Y amnestics describe the taste as "colorless".

Money entered: 50 and a half yen (yen coin sliced in half)
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Paper note with the words "This paper is edible." Class-D was sent to taste it. After it was ingested, the subject reported a feeling of nausea and tiredness. Subject was sent to the medical ward, where it was discovered that the "edible" paper contained trace amounts of organic mercury. The subject expired the day after.

Money entered: 400 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Bostonian Molasses Soda", text in English, albeit with British spelling and linguistic conventions. Molasses-flavored carbonated "drink" with a very high viscosity, in a glass container. The top half of the container screws off, and instructions on the bottle indicate it is to be consumed using a spoon or fork. Testing on item suspended after D-Class reported difficulty swallowing item.

Money Entered: 400 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: Large plastic bag branded "Stranglefruit Thesaurus", text in English, resembling linguistic patterns observed in SCP-2337. Contents were non-anomalous, albeit high-quality, gummy worm candies. SCP-2337 was presented with the contents of this bag, and expressed gratitude.
Note: At least, we think it was gratitude. I'm not entirely sure what "Stranglefruit heal meat nomen, cack" means.

Money entered: 350 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: Small cardboard box with packaging in an unknown language.
Box was full of popcorn. Popcorn reported to taste like cigarette ashes.

Money entered: 350 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: A can of Grapple Flavoured Coke. D-████ drank the liquid, and immediately fell into cardiac arrest. Autopsy revealed the liquid had destroyed D-████'s stomach, causing shock and cardiac arrest.

Money entered: 300 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: "Lars" brand potato chips, vinegar and salt flavored. Packaging in English. Bag similar to Lays brand packaging. Bag contained a mixture of cut raw, under cooked, and over cooked potato slices, floating in a bath of vinegar. D-76037 attempted to consume slices, but could not due to the strong odor of vinegar coming from the bag.

Money entered: 100 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Mr. Leaven's Yeast, Nacho Cheese Flavored": A small yellow aluminum bag containing what appeared to be active dry yeast, packaging in American English with a southern dialect. On consumption of a handful, D-11196 reported that they tasted "Just like Doritos". Hours later, subject complained of abdominal pains and mild drunkenness, typical symptoms of pure yeast consumption due to sugars in the stomach breaking down. Subject recovered normally.

Money entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Fractal Flakes": a small box of cereal, packaging in American English. Resembles other "corn flake" based cereal products, albeit with each flake having an intricate fractal pattern engraved on it, a small note was included warning to only eat one at a time. After consumption, subject reported feeling uncomfortably full. Feeling remained for next 8 hours. After testing with placing a flake in a jar of water, the flake exponentially grew in size to the approximate capacity of the human stomach. Fractal pattern observed to fade as flake grew.

Money entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "¡Revolution! Energy drink" 250 ml red and black striped can, text in Spanish. Drink was heavily carbonated and tasted of citrus. After consumption by D-12587, subject climbed atop a nearby table and began aggressively shouting anarchist slogans, before engaging in a physical struggle with a guard. Subject terminated.

Money entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: 20 oz glass bottle of "Barrett Cola". No label; product name is laser-engraved into the glass. Glass is opaque, preventing external viewing of the interior. Opening the bottle causes it to fire one .50 BMG round in the direction that bottle is facing. Putting the cap back on will "reload" the bottle, causing it to fire another round once the cap is removed again. Initial opening of the bottle caused the termination of subject D-12432. Examinations of interior via small camera down the bottle neck revealed that the bottle is apparently empty.

Money Entered: 100 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A glass orb with a plug in the top that can be removed. Inside the orb is approximately 500 mL of a clear gelatinous liquid, which when drunk was reported by the subject as tasting like rusty metal. After being drunk, a gear suddenly appeared in the subject's hand, with the label "Collect all ██ million parts to build ██████'s Clockwork Machine!" It had a picture of said machine on the label, which appears to be SCP-914.
Okay, I have an idea. Let's keep doing this, and collect all the parts to the machine! -Researcher Clark
No. It'll be faster to tear that thing apart and figure out how it works than to get all the parts like that.
-Researcher ████████

Money entered: Three cigarettes compressed flat from ███████ prison, Japan. Notably used by the inmates as currency.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: Several peas packaged in a tightly wrapped napkin. The napkin matched those used at ███████ prison but was folded in such a way that would not have been possible by the inmates without damaging the peas.

Money entered: A "0 yen" coin minted by The Foundation and the Japanese government for this test.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: An intangible metallic cylinder that collided with solids and liquids while not being effected by gases. Item can be manipulated but the object coming into contact with it is not effected by it. Humans are capable of perceiving it but cannot feel or detect it in any other way. Using the pull-tab, the can was opened revealing four tan cubes with the same properties. When consumed, they were converted into fecal matter with the same properties.

Money entered: The shredded remains of a credit card linked to an account with 700 yen.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A server purchased from ███████████ bank for this test storing information related to ████████'s account spontaneously filled with the remains of smashed soft candies and a plastic package, both too damaged to discern any notable features.

Money entered: 200 yen, taken from the collection plate of a Shinto temple in Tokyo.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: None dispensed. Money was returned in the coin return slot.

Money entered: As previous.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: None dispensed. Money returned in the coin return slot. Attempting to retrieve the money resulted in Dr. Williams receiving second-degree burns in their right index finger and thumb. Agent MacElroy, who originally retrieved the money, was the only individual able to handle the coins unharmed. The 200 yen, along with a check for ¥‎10,000,000, has since been returned to the temple, upon which it lost all anomalous properties.

Money entered: A Yen coin modified to bear a QR code for 20 Bitcoin.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Pie in the Sky", packaging in English. Contents were a slice of Chocolate Oreo Cream Pie. Upon opening the package, the slice slowly floated towards the ceiling of the chamber. Dr. Chambers was able to catch it and restrain it through use of fishing wire. Edible, but subject reported that it tasted as if though it were low in sugars and other caloric content.

Money entered: 250 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: Packet of 20 "Love Hurts" candies. Identical in taste and appearance to UK confectioners Swizzles Matlow "Love Hearts" candies1, excepting the messages found on each candy. Whereas "Love Hearts" display affectionate messages such as: "Hold Me", "Kiss Me", and "All Yours"; the "Love Hurts" candies displayed negative messages in tone, such as "You're Dumped", "Hate You", and "Cheater". Subjects who tried the candies reported different emotional responses on consumption which lingered for up to ten minutes, including anger, "a sense of loss", depression and "betrayal". Testing was suspended after Subject D-21376 consumed a candy displaying the message "Heartbreaker" and went into immediate cardiac arrest. Remaining candies sent to laboratory for further analysis.

Money entered: 1000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A cage containing one (1) domestic rabbit and a bag containing assorted instruments of torture were dispensed, along with with a note written in Swedish encouraging the consumer to use the tools to eat the rabbit alive. After initial reluctance, the subject used one of the tools to make an incision across the rabbit's stomach, whereupon a clear, red, and sticky liquid started to ooze out of the wound. Subject tasted it and reported that it tasted like strawberry jelly. The vivisection continued and it was discovered that all the internal organs were made out of milk chocolate, the bones were made out of hardened sugar, and the muscles out of gelatin snack similar in texture to gummy worms. The subject noted that nothing seemed to be unusual about the taste of any of these things. The rabbit appeared to be in great distress throughout the entire procedure.

Money entered: 5000 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Playing God" Flavored Lay's Potato Chips - A turquoise bag of Lay's potato chips that has the writing "Playing God" on it. The ingredients of the chips were [sic] "Pterodon Skull Powder, Ink of a Mantis Spider, Artificial Gourd Flavoring, EGG, Powdered Kegs of a Drunkard, Gourd Eggs, Eggplant Eggs, Shrimp Silk, Maggot Brains, Homo Sapien Toes, Zapped Pig's Anus, Droppings of a Dung Beetle and God's Tears." While the scientists on site were all too afraid to ingest the chips, D-502-58 was willing to eat these chips. After tasting, she said that the chips tasted like "Mom's Home Cooking" before suffering a mild stroke and later death in the medical ward. The bag of chips were thrown in the incinerator as well as D-502-58 as it was believed that her body was generating a poisonous neurotoxin due to the ingestion of said chips.

Money entered: 300 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A bottle of "ARUM-BRU", a golden-colored soft drink, text in British English. Labeling resembles that of the Scottish soft drink "IRN-BRU". Taste was similar to IRN-BRU, but had a strong aftertaste of melon. Analysis of the liquid found trace amounts of gold particles.

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A jar of Marmite, text in English. No detectable chemical differences, but among twenty individuals who sampled it, all agreed to enjoying the taste.

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: "Cadbury Ouroboros", a several-meter-long chocolate bar. The item was pulled out of SCP-261 over the course of three hours, and was found to be anomalously flexible for a bar of solid chocolate. Packaging states that the total length was over three kilometers. Upon full removal, inspection found that the bar was made up of over ten thousand individual chocolate squares, which had a variety of fillings including solid chocolate, caramel, dark chocolate, puffed rice, and the filling used for Cadbury Creme eggs. All fillings correspond to items manufactured by Cadbury.

Research is undergoing into the viability of reproducing and marketing the flexible chocolate that makes up this item.

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A cloth pouch labeled "Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans". Identical to the product manufactured formerly by Jelly Belly, but lacks any indications of the manufacturer, or of the flavors within. Several flavors not present in the Jelly Belly product are included, including cooked steak, salmon, butterscotch beer, pumpkin, cardboard, cough syrup, and bismuth. The variation of this product in a cloth pouch ceased production some time before 2007.

Money Entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Potato Quips", manufactured by the "Frito-Utz" company. Bag contained twenty-one potato chips; consumption of a single chip resulted in the D-Class personnel becoming more talkative and sarcastic. The D-Class showed minor precognitive capabilities, as they appeared to have the capability to create a retort to any statement as it was being spoken.

Money Entered: 700 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A 354ml bottle of Mountain Dew, "Dorito Blaze" flavored. Contents were an orange liquid with a strong spicy and cheesy taste; stated to be "completely unappetizing", and triggered the gag reflex in all who attempted to taste it. A promotion for the non-existent company "Sweeny-Wilson Games" was found on the bottle, wherein one could win promotional items if a code on the underside of the bottle's cap was entered at an advertised web address.

Money entered: A novelty chocolate shaped like a 1 Yen coin with the wrapper.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: An aluminum bar in the shape of a Hershey's brand chocolate bar wrapped in the standard wrapper for the product.

Money entered: 10 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: One sheet of 'Poultry Postage' stamps. All stamps bore the image of an avian species from the order order Galliformes. Researcher reported the flavor of the stamps when licked to taste "foul." Expiration date printed on back of sheet was 3/19/1973.
Notes: I think these were supposed to have different flavors depending on the bird, but it all tasted like chicken to me.

Money entered: 100 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: One small bag of "Cretaceous Candies". Label proclaimed "No shrinkwrap!" All candies were gummy animals of unidentified shapes. Comparisons with known Cretaceous Era skeletons revealed all candy shapes were consistent with skeletons of Cretaceous Era dinosaur and pterosaur species, but with unknown tissue and other structures. Sample retained for analysis.

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: One package of "Quizzlers." Candies appeared similar to the brand Twizzlers produced by the Hershey company, except green. Flavor reported to be "this Australian cultivar, named after Maria Ann Smith." All subjects who consumed any such candies were only able to speak in similar trivia questions for an hour after consumption, exhibiting trivia knowledge unlikely to have been known by the subject. All anomalous knowledge faded alongside the effect, with no lasting aftereffects.

Money entered: 5000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: One bow and quiver of arrows. Items removed from machine with some difficulty. The quiver proved to be labeled with a picture apparently depicting the legend of William Tell, with packaging text in German, French, Italian, and Romansh. Testing adjourned to on-site weaponry range, with D-91807 serving as the 'target' and Doctor ████, an archery hobbyist, firing. First arrow successfully embedded above D-91807's head, at which point an apple spontaneously manifested where the arrow lodged. Second shot went astray and embedded itself in D-91807's bicep. No anomalous effects reported. Testing adjourned for the day.

Money entered: 777 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: One "Unchristables" brand sealed crustless sandwich, similar in appearance to ███████████ brand sandwiches with the addition of a cross. Packaging displayed a cartoon Jesus Christ mascot. Product made of wheat flour and water, containing filling of wine-flavored jelly.

Money entered: 777 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: One bag of "Jeez-It" brand communion wafers, displaying a similar mascot to the previous test. Packaging similar in appearance to that of █████████ brand snacks, though Frito-Lay does not produce these snacks. D-Class subject described them as "bland but filling", despite each one only containing 200 kcal.

Name: Doctor King

Money entered: 25 apple seeds produced in previous experiments, compressed into a 1-yen coin by the Japanese government.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: 1 apple seed. Further testing revealed that the seed was made entirely of metal identical to that used to manufacture a 1-yen coin.

Money entered: 25 apple seeds produced in previous experiments, compressed into a 1-yen coin by the Japanese government.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: 1 apple seed. Further testing revealed that the seed was made entirely of apple. DNA testing revealed that the apple was the source of the seeds used to manufacture the input coin.

Money entered: 1 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A small bag of 'Motivators', containing 50 biscuits. D-Class Subject who sampled them described taste as 'Very Poor'. Subject later said that he had the urge to 'start working to earn money', and proceeded to clean the facility for 24 hours continuously. When subject stopped cleaning the facility, he asked for 499 yen, which he promptly deposited into SCP-261.

Money entered: 1 yen, with a note that said, in English, '499 yen coming soon'.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: 1/500th of an ordinary Cadbury's packaged chocolate bar, with 'other 499 pieces of chocolate being manufactured' written on package.

Money entered: 500 forged (fake) yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: SCP-261 whirred for two minutes, then dispensed a white, viscous liquid from its output slot, which was later identified as [DATA EXPUNGED].
Note: Gross. - Researcher ████

Money entered: 291 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A pack of sugar paper notes of various colors reading "Sugar Coated Paper! Over 4000 flavors! Taste them all!" Some of the notes read the names and descriptions of various SCPs, including SCP-███ and SCP-███. Every note had its own taste and some tasted like things humans cannot usually consume like sulphur and "sadness" (both of which tasted bitter, but didn't affect the person eating it.)

Money entered: 9,999,999 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A single glass of a yellow liquid, later confirmed to be a mixture of "Newman's Own" brand lemonade, and Dr. ██████'s [REDACTED].
Note: How in the name of god did it get my [REDACTED]? I don't think it has access to the plumbing… - Dr. ██████

Money entered: 69 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Note: What the actual fuck…

Money entered: -5 yen (Made specially by the Japanese government for this experiment.)
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: One copy of the book "The Phantom Tollbooth." All pages mentioning "subtraction soup" are folded in the corner, and cannot be unfolded due to a low-level cognitohazard.

Money entered: -100 yen (20 of the mentioned -5 yen coins)
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A pyramid-shaped chocolate wrapped in tinfoil. There is no logo on the tinfoil. Upon consumption, D-████ collapsed, and seemingly deflated. Inspection on the corpse revealed that all bones, organs, and muscles were removed from D-████, leaving just skin behind.

Money entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A blunt labeled "Gamer!"
Note: Can I smoke this? -Dr. Tsubasa

Money entered: 320 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A small tub of 'I Can't Believe It's Butter!'. Packaging identical to popular butter substitute 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!', but lacking the word 'Not' in all instances of its brand name. Molecular testing of its contents showed its structure was identical to butter. Upon consumption, subject was adamant that the product was not butter, despite evidence to the contrary.

Money Entered: 500 Yen, taken from a wallet dropped by a civilian in Nagasaki, Japan
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A Hershey's chocolate bar, text in Japanese. Wrapper proved to be completely resistant to tearing, and had to be unwrapped fully. The inside of the wrapper contained a warrant for Agent MacElroy, in Japanese, for several counts of theft; this corresponds with an extant warrant for Agent MacElroy that was not present prior to the dispensation of this item. Chemical analysis of chocolate showed it to contain a paralytic capable of severely impairing movement, but the amount contained in the bar was below the fatal dosage.

Money Entered: 100 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Bismuth Bites", packaging in Korean. A bag of colored gelatin 'candies', identical in composition to commercially-available bismuth subsalicylate stomach medications, but not advertised as such. Candies are non-anomalous and theoretically reproducible.
This is so much better than chugging half a bottle of Pepto every time my GERD acts up, and they don't have the sticky, smily texture like the tablets. I'm going to make sure these get mass-produced if it's the last thing I do. — Dr. Freeman

Money Entered: 100 yen, minted on site
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A piece of ordinary white bread toast. Upon further inquiry, the toast was confirmed to have been made by me.

Money Entered: 5000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Description: A plastic package with a picture of a human liver drawn on the front. The text "special de-livery" and, "Flavor: Anna Petrastov" surrounded the picture. Immediately upon reading this, Researcher ████ remarked "holy shit, Anna?", at which point he called an acquaintance by the same name. She was in the hospital recovering from an attack the previous night where she was drugged and had her liver removed.

Name: Doctor King
Money Entered: 1000 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: One giant apple seed, weighing .75 kilograms. Testing revealed the seed to contain a lethal 700 grams of cyanide, proportionally accurate to the size of the seed.

Money Entered: 500 yen. Due to a production error, all graphics on the coin were mirrored.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: One chocolate bar with no wrapper, with graphics engraved in the chocolate that appeared similar to that of a Mars Inc. 'Mars' chocolate bar wrapper. At either end, the chocolate bar tapered with a spiked edge. Inside the bar was a cavity containing a solid block of black plastic coated in caramel and nougat.

Money entered: 550 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A plastic bottle of "Whistle Wetter", which contained a red liquid. D-989573 drank a quarter of the bottle and reported that it tasted like "Cherry Kool-Aid". He displayed an ability to whistle afterwards, despite claiming that he could not before drinking it. Effects appear to have worn off after an hour and a half. The bottle is currently contained in the fridge in the Site-██ break room, and has about 1/3 of the liquid left inside.

Money entered: 500 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A small Can with a white band around it, the phrase “The shark punch shake! Lets you punch the sharks even harder!” was written on it. Inside was a creamy white liquid. Upon consumption, the test subject noted a high compulsion to “punch something”.

Money entered: 499 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A 100g bar of milk chocolate, package in Ukrainian. Weighing confirmed, that the chocolate bar actually weighed 99.8g. It was fed to D-288281, no anomalous properties were reported. Also, D-288281 described it as "just like in my country".

Money Entered: 200 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A 355mL (12 fl.oz.) can of "Coca Cola Classic", packaging corresponded to typical bilingual Canadian packaging circa 1991, although markings corresponded with current bottling dates. Upon consumption, test subject noted that it was "delicious", and tasted "just like Old Coke". Approximately 15 minutes after consumption, test subject began feeling excess energy and euphoria. Analysis showed that the the full can would have contained approximately 3 mg of cocaine/vol.

Money Entered: 200 yen, with "IM HUNGRY" (sic) written in all caps on it
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: A huge block (86 x 12 x 18 cm) of bean curd, or tofu. Tests show that it is non-anomalous.

Money Entered: 200 yen, with "what are you?" (sic) written on it
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: 355 ml (12 fl oz.) can of "Not Gonna Say", with an expiration date of August 12, 2021. D-██████ consumed it, and then responded with "not gonna say" to all questions asked for 45 minutes. Remaining 5 ml sent to lab for testing.

Money entered: 200 Yen, along with a note reading "Surprise Me", written in English.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: Dispensed a small box of Cheez-Its. It is unknown what flavor these were, as before anyone could retrieve it, SCP-261 proceeded to [DATA EXPUNGED].
Note: SCP-261 was found ██ miles (██ km) south of the break room of where it was kept. Despite the extreme [REDACTED] that SCP-261 would have suffered as a result of [REDACTED], the machine was completely unharmed. The crater it had made on landing was 33 feet (10 meters) in radius and 25' 6" (7.7 meters) at its deepest point. It is estimated that peak altitude was approximately [REDACTED]. Testing was canceled until SCP-261 was relocated back to the break room, and the ceiling was completely repaired, a process that took █ weeks.
I must remind everyone that SCP-261 weights in at ███ kilograms. It is not very easy to move. - Dr. Wallace

Money entered: 400 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: 20 oz. (591 ml) of Coca-Cola. Packaging was written in Japanese, save for the main logo. Found to be non-anomalous.

Money entered: 400 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A "stick" of ██████. Packaging written in English, and indicated they were of mint flavor, which D-9564 confirmed.

Money entered: 400 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: 4-count of ███-███. Packaging written in Japanese, save for main logo.
I'm not surprised that it's giving us "normal" stuff again. I mean, it was shut down for █ weeks… - Dr. Baker IV

Money entered: 400 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: 4-pack of toilet paper, with a packaging written in a combination of French and Japanese. Translation indicated toilet paper was "edible"; testing confirmed it contained trace amounts of coco powder and maple syrup. D-7612 reported it as "delicious", and proceeded to consume an entire roll. Testing concluded for the day.
Note: D-7612 reported he did not require the use of toilet paper for the next five days.

Testing concluded for the day.

Money Entered: 200 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: A tube of Pringles, original flavor. Tube was 90 cm tall; it should be noted a "standard" tube of Pringles is only 30 cm tall. Nothing abnormal reported aside from tube size.

Money Entered: 100 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: Machine dispensed a single-serve package of Kraft Mac-and-Cheese. Dr. Rosswall reported "a disgusting amount of peppermint" seemed to be mixed with the product, despite no safety seals being broken prior to consumption.

Money Entered: 261 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: 261 was idle for nearly ten seconds, and then proceeded to produce a 22.6 inch (57 cm) version of itself (labeled as "261-1"). After an additional ten seconds, 261-2 dispensed a 7.5 inch (19 cm) version of itself (labeled as "261-2"). This continued until 261-5 produced a single green Skttle. Skittle was found to be of average quality. 261-1, -2, -3, -4, and -5 have been placed in storage pending further evaluation.

Money Entered: The Green Skittle from the Previous Test.
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: 261 spat a red Skittle out of the return slot, and then proceeded to spit a yellow notecard out of the receptacle. Notecard seemed to be hand-written using a thick black permanent marker. Note read "[EXPLETIVE] Off!" in Japanese. SCP-261 stopped responding to any input at this point, and did not respond for the rest of the day. Testing concluded for the day.

Note: The next day, staff found exactly 187 red Skittles on the floor in front of the vending machine. Security footage showed that at 01:06 hours, the machine spat out all of these Skittles, followed up by a second notecard; it appears that the notecard had something written on it, but footage was unable to provide a clear enough image to indicate what it may have said. At 03:01 hours, the cameras stopped recording for a period of 26 seconds, due to unknown reasons. Upon footage resuming, the notecard was missing. It is unknown who took the notecard, where the notecard went, and what it had written on it. Any information about the notecard should be reported immediately to any Personnel with Level 3 or higher clearance.

Money Entered: 450 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: Dispensed a bright yellow soda can. Despite appearing brand-new, the can was of extremely similar design to a can from the 1960's, including the outdated "pull-tab". Can contained 7 oz. (207 ml) of soda, which was considered the "standard" amount in the 60's. Label read "CAN OF WHOOPASS" (sic) in bright red, bold lettering, all in English. Shortly after consumption, D-3235 complained of severe pain in his gluteus maximus. Examination found severe bruising on the gluteus maximus, as well as a fracture coccyx (tailbone).

Money Entered: 450 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item Description: Dispensed a black soda can that was extremely similar in design to the previous test. Image depicted what appeared to be an explosion made up of prunus avium ("wild cherries"). Label to the right of this read "CHERRY BOMB". Font was identical to the soda can of the previous test. D-3244 volunteered to drink the can, and reported that the taste was "strong cherry". 15 seconds after consumption, D-3244's head violently exploded. Said explosion caused blood to spray in a radius of up to 20 meters, and the shockwave resulted in the 4 minor injuries. Despite standing within 2 meters of SCP-261, the machine was undamaged, despite being sprayed with heavy amount of blood. Testing concluded for the day; clean-up took 6 hours.

Money entered: 108 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: "Nirvana In A Box!" A small white box measuring roughly 4 cm3, with a flap on the top indicating that the box can be opened. Upon a D-Class personnel opening the box, the D-Class vanished and the box closed itself. When another D-Class opened the box, nothing happened and the box remained empty.

Money entered: 451 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A bird resembling a small hawk with red and orange wings flew out of the machine and aggressively attacked all persons currently in the room; creature was terminated on sight, at which point it spontaneously combusted on the ground into a very blackened corpse, but without any external damage other than the bullet hole. D-58303 was instructed to consume the remains, with the subject initially reported that the bird tasted like overly cooked chicken, but around 30 minutes later, subject's body temperature slowly rose and developed symptoms of a high fever, and went unconscious after their body temperature reached 150°F, and vital signs ceased shortly after; As the subject's body was about to be disposed, subject suddenly regained consciousness; upon questioning, subject described a dream consisting of "Falling from a very great height into a volcano" before waking; subject's trauma treated with amnesiacs; bird remains taken in for further study.

Money entered: 1225 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: An object resembling an orange crank operated lamp was dispensed, when cranked for more than 30 seconds, all individuals in the light's radius reported that they felt hungry, with only the person cranking it feeling a compulsive urge to keep the lamp away from anyone else and assuming that anyone that approaches them it out to steal it from them, acting violent upon attempts to seize the lamp; amnesiacs seem to be the only way to treat the compulsionary behavior. Upon examination of individuals exposed to the light, no apparent physical changes were found. Testing with multiple people cranking the lamp at once resulted in both becoming extremely violent between one another as they fought over the lamp.

I literally just had a very filling meal before initial testing, and that light still managed to make me feel like I was starving.-Dr. Betancourt

Name: Dr.Betancourt
Money entered: 3,932 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: Large bulk candy bag labeled "Kitty Clan Candy!", Label in Japanese, featuring various anthropomorphic cat mascots with varying professions and hobbies in a modern anime style on the candies wrapping inside and on the bag; some candies and associated professions include:
Chocholate bar shaped like a cat ear / Engineer
Sour candy shaped like cat paw / Assassin
Tan colored licorice / Athlete
Cream-stuffed chocolate / Sumo Wrestler
Gummies of varying yoga poses / Yoga instructor
Jawbreaker shaped like cat claw / Soldier

Testing shows no anomalous effects, the candy in a bowl is available in the site canteen with Dr. Betancourt being allowed to keep the bag for decoration in his office.
I can see why they didn't decide with the cheesy option to have Ks as the first letter of each word in the name. - Dr. Betancourt

Money Entered: 200 Yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item Description: SCP-261 dispensed a bag of 8 marshmallows, packaging labeled "Arsenic-Mallows!" in English. When consumed, the effects of arsenic on the body begin to appear. Strangely, all subjects that have eaten "Arsenic-Mallows" have woken up exactly 2 days after consuming 1 marshmallow. Subjects described their time during their unconsciousness as "disneyland but with arsenic".